


My Fight Is Over

by daringem87



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-06
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-05-25 04:04:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6179458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daringem87/pseuds/daringem87
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke is mortally injured. Her journey into the next life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Fight Is Over

**Author's Note:**

> I needed to write something that I thought up the other day. Overall i'm pleased with how it turned out, but i'm still getting back into writing fan fic again. So here is the result. Also. I listened to alot of sad songs writing this.

It happened suddenly, and yet not at all. She knew the risks, she had taken the risks time and time again. Still, it had found her. Kane wouldn’t agree, her mother’s wouldn’t – but somewhere Clarke had decided that it would find her the minute she first stepped on the ground. It was always there, all of those months, closely following her, but other’s suffered. She had outrun it so often, that were other causalities. Wells. Finn. Names that she couldn’t utter to remember because of the pain. It was silly, really it was that she thought it would end any differently.

_Destiny had found her._

Well, destiny wasn’t the only thing that found her, it would be the very thing that dropped her to the ground, it was indescribable, but the pain wasn’t. The pain was constant, it was never ending, it was blinding. It was only when Raven came that she realized she was still alive.

She heard Raven tell her it was going to be alright, but she still felt a little bit relieved. No that wasn’t the right word, she couldn’t be. She knew she was tired.

Tired of all of this, of all the pain, internally and externally. She just wanted it to stop. The warmth of Raven’s hand reminded how cold Clarke felt. She had started shivering, she knew it was only a matter of time before it was all over, the pain, the regret – everything. She knew Raven was trying to get her to Arkadia, she knew she was going to find her mother, trying to save her at all cost, she had given everything to her people – and now the final piece was given. She closed her eyes.

‘Clarke!’

Clarke opened her eyes suddenly.

Dad? She could have sworn it was her father’s voice, but instead she found her mother, placing her hand on the mouth, with pressure. ‘Stay with us Clarke.’

Her breathing was lapsed; her mom knew what was happening. She had seen it so many times before – on the ground, and on the Ark. She couldn’t accept it, Clarke understood. She closed her eyes, the pain was constant, but seeing her mother just trying to stop the bleeding, it was breaking her heart. She had accepted it.

She was starting to cough up blood now. Not good.

Her mother knew this, and she continued to try to stop the bleeding, it wasn’t working and she knew the end was near, but she couldn’t stop it, Clarke knew her mother, she knew that Abby would stop at nothing to stop the bleeding, but it was useless.

‘I can’t stop the bleeding Clarke – I can- ‘, Clarke opened up her eyes and nodded. Tears had formed in both of the Griffin women’s eyes. Clarke’s breathing was lapsing, glancing her mother’s eyes – she couldn’t say anything, her mother had lost so much, and she knew it would kill her.

Abby had been stroking Clarke’s hair, telling her it was alright, holding her hand tightly, not wanting to let go, not wanting to stop caring for her. She knew the truth, the bitter reality of Clarke’s circumstance. She knew that Clarke had given everything to their people and it killed her, and it was killing Clarke. This wasn’t what they wanted for her, they had always wanted to her live free, and now – now she’ll never get that chance. She’ll never get the chances that all parents wish for their children. It was the sad bitter truth that Abby had finally recognized.

She was losing her daughter.

‘Mom, it’ll be alright.’ Clarke had finally broken the silence, the silence that had been so deafening to everyone in the room. She held her mother’s hand, gently, she couldn’t find the strength to hold it any differently. Her journey was done now; she had finally accepted it.

Had she felt this way just before she died? Clarke wondered silently. Had she felt this pain and still found a way to calm Clarke down? Had her mind wandered to their first and ultimately last meeting, as Clarke was doing now? Clarke was dying and she was still in her mind, her soul, constantly.

She didn’t think anything hurt more than losing her, and she was right. Death hurt her less, she was sure of it. It had been months, or had it been years? Clarke shook her head and closed her eyes, the pain of remembering was almost too much.

‘Mom, you have to make sure – make sure you don’t blame yourself.’

Her mother looked at her, trying to hold back the tears. ‘Honey. You have to hold on, you – you’re a leader, you can beat this.’ Clarke closed her eyes, and quickly opened them. ‘Maybe I don’t want to beat this?’

Abby looked at her daughter. Doesn’t want to beat this? ‘Wha- what do you mean? You can’t possibly be telling me you want to die; you can’t possibly want that Clarke.’

‘I’m tired of fighting, Mom. I can- I can’t do it anymore. ‘She held her mother’s hand gently, realizing her time was almost up. ‘Can’t I just have something of my own for once?’

‘But death?’

Clarke felt the pain in her side come back, it was more frequent now and it was becoming impossible to conceal on her face. ‘No. Not death’

Abby looked at her, pain in her eyes.

‘ _Peace_.’

She knew what Clarke meant. It was painful to wonder and to finally know that her daughter could only imagine herself at peace after she died. It wasn’t far fetched, in the past few months Abby had wondered if any of them would ever find peace, and the pressure that was put on Clarke to be a leader, Abby realized that they never really get peace, a sense of life after so much destruction.

She had hoped maybe someday that Clarke would be able to find peace on the ground, she knew now, as Clarke had always known that peace for her was unachievable. It was never possible.

Clarke noticed the look on her mother’s face and she knew, the realization that she was finally getting what she wanted. Maybe someday wouldn’t come for her, it’s something she had realized awhile ago. She had, in someway, to sacrifice herself for the well being of her people. It was a strange feeling that so long ago that she had hoped for a better future for herself, and the one’s she loved. She couldn’t have that anymore.

Her eyes were getting heavier, she just wanted to sleep. She looked at her mother and knew it had come. She would finally find the peace she had strived for. That she had longed for. That had evaded her for so long, not matter how hard she tried to find it.

Tears had finally swelled in her mother’s eyes. ‘Clarke. PLEASE.’

Clarke looked at her mother, hoping it wouldn’t be the last time, but even she knew she shouldn’t be as naïve, they’d meet again one day.

‘My fight is over.’ Clarke looked at her mother and closed her eyes.

_The pain was gone._

It wasn’t long after closing her eyes that she was able to open them again. There was no pain, no blood, no remains of the Ark. No Abby.

The room was white, if it was even a room. It strangely reminded her of Mount Weather, but in a different way. She felt at peace here, or it felt like peace. It certainly didn’t feel life pain, it didn’t feel like war, or deceit. It was a different feeling that Clarke welcomed.

‘Clarke.’ She quickly turned around. He was standing there, just like she remembered him. It had been so long since she had heard his voice, and there he was, her father. She ran over to him, hugging him tightly, hugging him as if trying to put all the years behind her that he hadn’t been there to hug. ‘Dad? Does that mean I’m –.’

He nodded. ‘You’re at peace now, we’re all at peace. You owe nothing to anyone anymore.’ He smiled, looking into her eyes. ‘I’ve missed you so much. We all have.’

Clarke looked at him confused. ‘All of you?’ Clarke’s dad smiled. ‘All of us.’

She suddenly noticed who they were. Everyone they had lost on the Ark – the floaters. People that had died with the rest of the 100. She noticed Anya, someone she had never actually seen smile, was smiling at her.

She noticed Wells.

She noticed Finn. She glanced back at her father, with a smile. Still it felt a little empty, it wasn’t as if she expected her to be here. She was surprised to see Anya, and a few of the other grounders, but still she had hoped that once all of it had been done with that she would be here. That she would be able to see her face at least just one more time. Clarke looked down and thought about how silly that thought had been.

She hadn’t wanted to acknowledge it to her mother or to anyone for that matter. When she meant peace, it didn’t mean no war. It had always meant her. It had always been about someday. She hadn’t ever given up, she realized after that day what it meant. She realized that peace for Clarke wouldn’t ever come until death. It wouldn’t come until she saw her again.

Maybe that day would never come. Maybe that is exactly why it happened. Maybe peace meant never having to feel the pain. Maybe dying finally meant that it wouldn’t play over in her head. Again and again. Silently crying wondering what she could have done differently. Wondering if maybe it had actually hit her, the person it had been intended for. Thinking about how much she would have done to take the bullet, but knowing full well that she wouldn’t have wanted Clarke to do that.

‘Acceptance is the first key, I guess.’ Clarke said to herself while following her father. It was gorgeous here, she couldn’t possibly understand or explain the beauty even to herself, the peace radiated from the coloring of the scenery. Clarke’s father was talking to her, but she couldn’t get over the beauty.

The ground had always been beautiful to her, but this was picturesque. It was something one only saw in a dream. It was the definition of peace.

Then she saw her.

Clarke couldn’t believe it. She was smiling at her, and Clarke had forgotten how beautiful her smile had been. She still couldn’t believe it.

The smile on her face slowly disappeared. She walked towards Clarke. Was Clarke imagining this? Even in death she couldn’t believe it.

‘What are you doing here? You shouldn’t be here,’ She placed her hands on Clarke’s shoulders. ‘You shouldn’t be here, Clarke.’ Clarke was still in disbelief, she placed her hand on Lexa’s neck.

‘It really is you.’

Lexa nodded, tears swelling in her eyes. Smiling gently again. ‘It’s really you.’ Clarke was tearing up as well, but she didn’t care. She had dreamed of this moment forever. To have Lexa even for just a second would have been enough, just to tell her how she felt, but this – this was different. She couldn’t have imagined this at all.

The kiss was soft, and gentle and it was worth it. It was worth the wait; it was worth the pain. It was worth seeing her again. It meant so many things for Clarke, as it did for Lexa.

Maybe someday had come. It had come at a cost, but a worthy cost. In life they hadn’t been able to have this, they weren’t able to put themselves over their duty to their people.

In death however. In death they were able to forget the pain, all the want. They could forget the regret, they could forget duty. They could forget Polis. They could forget Arkadia.

In death they had both found something that they had equally longed for and had tried to fight for.

In death they found _peace_.


End file.
